THE PEACH PIT: THE APPRENTICE: LA

Editors' note: It's a day of both high and low culture ... another new column being introduced today at City Belt is "The Peach Pit," which will focus on TV and DVDs. Again, enjoy.

By Elizabeth Weill-Greenberg

So Trump did it for ratings. I know that. 

For all you philistines, The Apprentice: LA premiered Sunday night. After several lackluster seasons Trump moved his disciples to LA and introduced a few twists. Some were welcome: Ivanka Trump is now a judge, alongside her dad – her best asset being her smug self-entitlement, as if her dad didn’t get her into Wharton (his alma mater), or secure her job (er, at Trump.) As my dad used to joke about Tori Spelling on 90210: “You know how she got the job? Her mom slept with the boss.” 

When I was little I was always relieved that my parents didn’t hold any high-powered positions to get me anywhere. Wouldn’t those kids always wonder – gee, do I deserve this? Well, at the age of 27 and after meeting many of those kids I’ve learned most carry a sense of entitlement -- without a sliver of self-consciousness.

But the twist to which I refer in my first sentence was this: each week’s losing team has to sleep in tents while the winners luxuriate (holy shit! That’s actually a word? I thought it was a TV word, like conversate or spontanuity). Neat idea, I originally thought. 

Until Sunday’s episode.

Trump explained the living situation to the contestants and then added that it was a replication of the haves vs. the have-nots. The haves – the winners – deserved an obscene mansion; the have-nots – the losers – deserved to live in tents. The losers peeped over the bushes to see the winners floating in swimming pools. That fucking sense of entitlement, those extreme inequities of wealth that refuse to shame the “haves” in our country. 

No, no, no. Please don’t inject that bit of American reality into my beloved reality TV.   

According to the American Dream narrative and Mr. Trump, if you work hard enough in Amer-ee-kah you’ll get all the riches you deserve. Just take a look at the new movie, Happyness, starring Will “I refused to kiss a man even though I played a gay guy” Smith.

Besides turning my populist stomach, I just don’t think it makes good TV. I love competitive reality shows that document some sort of creative process, no matter how superficial – Project Runway, America's Next Top Model and, at one time, The Apprentice. But these gimmicks muck up that simple, potentially addictive formula. (Like on the last season of Project Runway – the most gimmicky of all its seasons – when they had to design an outfit that would fit a “jet-setter” – an elaborate set-up to fly them to Paris and send poor Angela home after being there only an hour or so.) 

Since the first season of The Apprentice, corporate backing appears to have flooded in. This often means more gimmicks, less creativity and more “L’Oreal hair and make-up rooms.” While Apprentice season one contestants competed over selling lemonade, future Trumpites created a display for Wal-Mart. Season one contestants took it upon themselves to create, while their successors contracted the work out. Wow, thrilling. Can I watch you call a temp agency again? (Unless, of course, it’s mine!)

Maybe Trump’s people realized this mistake because the first episode was a welcome return to basics. The teams competed for the most successful carwash – “signage” was made out of cardboard and hopefuls scrubbed the cars themselves. Back to basics, Trump, back to basics.

TOTAL SCORE: 3.5 PEACH PITS (OUT OF 5)

TV Trivia Question of the Week:

What is Keep It Together? (Hint: It has something to do with the first season of Beverly Hills, 90210.) The winner(s) get a congratulatory e-card!

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The Peach Pit is a weekly column on trashy TV and DVDs – except when Elizabeth compromises and watches her boyfriend’s choices.

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Comments

[Joanne]

Keep It Together is David's song on 90210, that a talent agent really liked, but it wasn't in the first season, was it?

[Elizabeth Weill-Greenberg]

Hi Joanne,
No, you are incorrect. The song to which you refer was a song he wrote for Donna but performed while dating Valerie Malone -- post college years.

Are you sure we have the same parents?
Elizabeth :)

[Beck]

I was all excited that your sisterhood was safe, until I saw that Buffy had to smack Jo Jo down. Why c(a)(u)nt we all just get along? I, um, don't know the answer, but I was raised differently from you two...

I'm totaly, totally impressed by your subtle understanding of the populism of BH 9er versus the deplorable lack of populism in The Apprentice. I know that sounds snarky, but, in fact, I'm cuntpletely serious. You know that! Kelly's substance problem and David's problems at home were totally symbolical of their sincere shout-out to the common man.
mwah,
Beck

[Barb Weill]

Hi Buffy,

I read and enjoyed your class concious commentary on "reality" TV. I would expect no less from my daughter.

Your question, however, baffled me. And Dad was nowhere re 91208, but he appreciated your quoting him. Back to the question: you know how good I am at this stuff. But I have not a clue, so I'm not sure if it's a fair question to hang sisterhood on.

Barbara Weill